Spock and the Human Race
by Dana Katherine
Summary: Or...5 Things About the Human Race that Confuse Spock, and the 1 Thing he Takes for Granted
1. New Year's Eve

Title: 5 Things About the Human Race that Confuse Spock, and the 1 Thing he Takes for Granted

Rating: T (mild swearing, sexual references)

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize….unfortunately.

Summary: Title pretty much sums it up! Spock/Nyota relationship, Spock/Kirk friendship.

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Spock can remember back to his early childhood on Vulcan and his mother trying to bring some of her traditions to their small family. His father always allowed Amanda to decorate the house for Christmas, dress up both males for Halloween, and although Sarek never showed it, Spock thinks that in his own stoic way Sarek found Valentine's Day quite agreeable.

One tradition that Spock never understood, however, was New Year's Eve. He didn't understand why the Earth's completion of a revolution around its star deserved a party. He remembers every time Earth was about to enter its new year, his mother would put sparkly hats on their heads and give them small things that made a loud squawking noise when you blew into one end. Of course it was never the same time of year, or even time of day, on Vulcan since its rotation and revolution was quite different than that of Earth, but he was always allowed to blow his noisemaker and taste his mother's carbonated beverage she called champagne before he was sent to bed.

Spock didn't realize, however, how…enthusiastically some humans celebrated this holiday. He had been convinced (although he wouldn't admit that) to attend the academy's New Year's Eve celebration in the mess hall by several of his students and fellow instructors. He had stood in the back corner until one of his students, a very gifted first-year xenolinguistic student named Nyota, found him and pulled him into a group of cadets. A clear glass containing a familiar fizzy fluid was thrust into his hand, and he decided is tasted just as awful now as it did when he was a child.

Spock looked at the chrono and noticed it was 15 minutes until the New Year and the excitement in the building was….building. He heard some extra loud cheering coming from the far corner and it appeared that two cadets, one of them he thought he recognized as a doctor and the other the son of the famous George Kirk, were slamming shots of something he was sure was stronger that champagne. The cheers seemed to have erupted when a third cadet had finally hit the floor.

Before he knew it someone had yelled that there was one minute left. Again, he started to question the logic of celebrating an occurrence that had been happening, without pomp and circumstance, for billions of years before humans had arrived on the planet. Suddenly he found a noise maker thrust into his free hand, this one a small metallic box on a stick that you apparently swung around in a crazy fashion above your head, or something similar.

"10…9…8…" The voices started chanting the countdown around him. He had lost track of Nyota at some point and he briefly wondered where she gone before she reappeared in his line of sight.

"5…4…3…" she was standing right in front of him and he could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"2…1…Happy New Year!" There were shouts and the sounds of noisemakers shrieking all through the room. He might have noticed everyone around him taking a partner and kissing them passionately if it hadn't been for Nyota raising up on tiptoe and kissing him lightly on the cheek. She immediately flushed and looked completely embarrassed before a couple of her classmates came and whisked her away.

Spock's lips twitched up ever so lightly on one side. Perhaps he needed to rethink this custom.

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A/N: I hope you liked this chapter, and let me know if you want me to continue!


	2. Excessive Drinking

See first chapter for information!

A/N: Second chapter finished! Sorry for the delay, but school has to come first. Hope you like this second installment!

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Spock could appreciate the act of indulging in an occasional alcoholic beverage. He remembers his mom drinking a glass of wine with dinner occasionally, (and of course the champagne for New Year's). He, himself, would have an alcoholic drink every once in a while, but mostly when social niceties required it. As a Vulcan, the alcohol had no intoxicating effects on him, but did increase his blood sugar a noticeable amount.

Tonight was a night where he was allowing himself to indulge in a drink or two. The Enterprise was limping back to Earth after defeating Nero, Captain Pike was recovering well in sick bay, and all of the senior staff was off-duty for the next 48 hours since they had all been up for a minimum of 72 straight. But with the adrenaline still in their veins, no one had been able to go to sleep, and that is why most of the bridge crew (and Mr. Scott and Dr. McCoy) were in one of the smaller Rec. Rooms, drinking. There were several kinds of alcohol on the table off to the side, and everyone including Chekov (the kid _did _just help save Earth) was indulging.

Since he and Nyota had been quite public about their affections (he heard one ensign referring to their display as "almost-but-not-quite making out on the transporter pad"), and since no one seemed to care if they were together or not, Nyota was currently seated on his lap as they sat at the end of one of the couches. She held in her hands her sixth drink of the night and her inebriation was starting to become obvious. In fact everyone in the room was quite "drunk" as the humans called it. He himself even felt a bit fuzzy (that "fuzzy" proved that he was under the influence) since he had allowed himself to indulge in a chocolate drink. Chocolate milk to be exact. There had been several raised eyebrows when he requested the drink, until Nyota had informed them all, slightly slurred, that a Vulcan ingesting chocolate was like a human drinking alcohol.

Mr. Scott, Dr. McCoy, Acting-Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Sulu had started up a drinking contest (much like the one he saw Kirk and McCoy engaged in at the Academy two years ago at the New Year's Eve party.) Sulu had been the first to drop out, and somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered reading somewhere about humans of Asian decent sometimes having an intolerance to alcohol. The other three were still at it, though it appeared that it would be over soon.

"You should jus' givup you two," Scotty slurred heavily as he swayed a bit on his stool. Jim shook his head violently and almost tumbled off of his own stool before he caught himself. McCoy just grumbled and poured another shot for all of them. This time when Jim shook his head at the burning of the alcohol sliding down his throat, he did fall off of the stool and landed on the floor with a thump and a groan. He heard Nyota snicker from his lap, where she had begun to halfway lay on the arm of the couch.

One last shot was poured and this time it was the doctor that almost hit the ground. "I've…hadit," he said as he blinked several times to clear his vision. Scotty stood up and tried to take a bow at the applause that everyone left upright was giving him. He thought better of it, though, and sat back down quickly. Spock noticed that Nyota had fallen asleep, and decided that it was time for them to go. He stood up, maybe with a bit less grace than he usually had, and lifted the sleeping Nyota to his chest.

"I believe we are going to retire for the night."

McCoy nodded. "I think Jim and I will, too." It was logical for them to go at the same time since Jim was going to stay with McCoy because when you are smuggled aboard a starship, you don't get assigned a room. He watched as the doctor tried to haul Jim to his feet, but fail repeatedly. Spock sat Nyota back down on the couch and approached the pair.

"Allow me to help." In one easy motion his grabbed Jim and lifted him to his feet, draping one of Jim's arms around the doctor. "I will collect Nyota and then I will assist you to your quarters." He was headed the same way. He retrieved the still-sleeping Nyota and then returned to the staggering pair, allowing Jim to drape his other arm around his shoulders.

When they arrived at the doctor's quarters he waited while they both stumbled into the room. He watched the doctor dump the Acting Captain onto the couch and then collapse, himself, onto the bed. Spock pushed the button to close the door and then took off down the hall to his own quarters, lifting Nyota up higher into his grasp. He shook his head slightly. He understood drinking occasionally, but he didn't understand the human need to drink until they lost control of their own faculties.

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A/N: I hope this chapter was worth the wait! Let me know what you think!


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